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“Our dates have been very pleasant, so of course I’m happy,” Janet said.“Mom, we know you and dad have been doing it.”“Why are you so sure of that?”“You’ve stopped making out in our driveway at the end of your dates,” Will said.Dexter nearly drove off the road on hearing that. He thought they were hiding their dating activities better than that.“Your clothes are actually on straight when you come in the house after he drops you off,” Sarah said.“It used to be that you’d come home with your blouse done up with one button off,” Will said.“And you’d be looking all hot and bothered,” Sarah added.“Now you walk in like nothing has happened,” Will said.“But we know that something has happened,” Sarah said.Falling back on a trick that worked when the kids were a lot younger, Dexter pointed out the window and said, “Hey kids. Look at the horse.”“That’s not going to work,” Sarah said rolling her eyes since she hadn’t fallen for that trick since she was five.“There aren’t any horses in this. Advertising on Craigslist made sense for him – get what you're looking for, and you know there are women out there who are curious and more likely to respond to this type of invite rather than a heart-to-heart over wine and expensive dinner. The first time is a particularly tricky process, and you want to be focused on that. And we were focused. He showed up at my apartment. Tallish, clean, neat looking. Jeans, dress shoes, button-down shirt and a sweater. Short brown hair, light brown eyes. Sweet face, nice nose, weak chin. Pleasant, unassuming, almost completely unremarkable. I wouldn't look at him twice, not that there was anything wrong with him, just that he was completely ordinary at first sight. He told me his name, I told him mine. One more unremarkable than the other.We talked a bit about cable providers, city views, my strange apartment building and pets while we got high (my supply – I didn't want to get fucked up on some laced shit). I told him I was going to need to warm.
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